CSPAN: Washington Journal

Coming in for a landing

(Full C-SPAN interview can be found here.)

This morning I got up early to appear on C-Span’s Washington Journal. It’s a show I enjoy doing because it’s an opportunity for a long form interview. It’s all part of my final stretch of the campaign, with talks in D.C., Maryland, Oregon and New Mexico coming up to complete the tour.

Much of the campaign was emotionally and psychologically brutal. There’s a book there but I won’t be writing it; there are too many things I don’t really want to revisit in the way I would need to in order to write about them. I’m clear about the ways in which we lost, but I’m also clear about the ways we succeeded. And one of the good things about where we are now is that I don’t have to let the haters get to me anymore. When people were cruel eight months ago - lying about me, mischaracterizing my work and all of that - I was heartbroken at how they were destroying the campaign. Today, it’s like, “Whatever.” They pretty much can’t really hurt me anymore.

I feel a lot of compassion for people choosing to run for office; I know what it’s like. And coming down from that surreal stratosphere is a shock to the system. I find myself feeling like I don’t quite know what to do with myself at times. Hmm, what should I do now? Clean my closet perhaps? Binge watch The Crown?

Every experience changes us, of course. I will never be quite the same person as I was before this, but I pray I will be a better one. I’ve known for a long time that my life works well when I practice what I preach:), which means my task now is to forgive. In A Course in Miracles, it says you have to take 100 per cent responsibility for your life experience or you will pay a very high price. The price you pay is that you won’t be able to change it! It also says that in situations where a miracle was blocked, it is held in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. I want to use this time to inwardly process an astounding experience. To atone. To forgive. To release. And to grow. Only then will I be able to receive all the miracles held in store.

On one hand, I experienced betrayal, abandonment, lack of ethics and disloyalty from friends and colleagues in ways I had never encountered. Oh, and add to that misogyny. I also experienced kindness, nobility, honor, generosity, goodness and love in people so great my heart can hardly contain it. There is no bottom to the depth of my gratitude to those who have shared this journey with me - who have cared, given, showed up, voted, and embraced with me the possibility of something very beautiful trying to emerge.

There is no platform for political conversation like a Presidential campaign. The hours I spent talking to eager, decent, intelligent people - so noble when called to be and so willing to make a change - put a light in my heart that will illumine my life forever. How I hope those experiences did the same for them. We didn’t just talk. We shared dreams and reflections of a better world. In the end, how very grateful I am. Despite the ugliness of modern politics, for those hours, and for those experiences, I would do it all again.